Introduction to the Episcopal Church
Session
14
Understanding
the Book of Common Prayer (BCP)
Part
9: The Sacrament of Holy Matrimony or Marriage in the Book of Common Prayer
Review:
In our sessions on the BCP, we have been looking at how the sacraments express
our response to the human experience of “rite of passage” or eventful time. In our sessions on the seven sacraments, we
now reflect upon Holy Matrimony. Of the
seven sacraments two are dominical or “commanded by our Lord,” namely Baptism
and Eucharist. The five other are five
pastoral sacraments that were implicit in the practice of Jesus and the New
Testament churches. One must admit that
all of the sacraments have gone through many different changes in how they have
been regarded in the history of their practice within the church. One can note that for much of history in some
churches marriage has not been permitted for those who felt called to the
ordained ministry. Marriage has had
varying manifestations in the various locations throughout the world and the
church has adapted to customs but also influenced the practice of civil
marriage.
Probably
a major crisis in life is loneliness or aloneness. About the primordial person Adam, the writer
of Genesis believed that God understood aloneness and so God in the creation
account said, “It is not good for Adam to be alone.” Was this said by a God who doubted the
adequacy of God’s own companionship with Adam? This primordial insight expressed the truth
that no one can feel complete while alone.
One can advance in a high degree of self-reliance but not even that can be
done alone. This insight shows us that
God is most evident and speaks mainly through other people; it is within human
community that we learn language. We
learn that we are not alone; we learn that we belong together in a general way,
but we also learn that the mutual magnets of particular love bring people
together to share with one another in the fullness of ways that people can
share. Fellowship, companionship, mutual
joy and ecstasy, joint stewardship in tasks, procreation and the fostering of
the next generation are all a part of the basic intuition regarding how human
beings are supposed to be together.
The
Episcopal Church regards marriage to be a sacrament, a mystery, in that we
believe that in the companionship of marriage persons encounter the mystery of
God’s presence. An ordained clergy does
not preside at a marriage to make love happen but to acknowledge that it has
and the blessing stands in the moment of offering to God with thanksgiving the
vows of the couple.
Marriage
involves four vows. Spouses to each
other, the vows of the community to support the couple and in the blessing, we
the church, understand God to be making a vow to be present in the wonder of
love.
Spouses
need to keep renewing their vows in their daily practice. Spouses need the support of their communities
(including the society at large to encourage commitment in the married life). Spouses need to continue to go to find God in
the mystery of their love. The marriage
rite expresses the vows that are lived into for the rest of married life
together.
Among
traditional churches, The Episcopal Church believes and practices that God’s
Holy Spirit can inspire new understanding and new practice and new wisdom. We also believe that God inspires rules,
practices and theology from the event of care.
We, in the Episcopal Church are flattered when people wish to gather
with us to pray and we endeavor to love and care for the people to desire to be
with us. With regard to Episcopal
Christians who have found themselves in lifelong committed relationships with
people of the same-sex it has seemed reasonable, just and loving to acknowledge
the blessing and grace present in these loving relationships and provide a
community of support for these brothers and sisters in Christ. Recently, the General Convention of the
Episcopal Church has approved liturgies for us to acknowledge, celebrate, bless
and support the persons who have known such commitments of love. Like everything in the church the
implementation of new liturgies sometimes have an uneven reception in how
people understand and respond to the changes.
It is important to inform ourselves about how such liturgies can be done
with integrity and continuity within our faith community that has always relied
upon Scripture, tradition and reason to appraise what we do in our faith and
community practice. It should be known
that just as in our country we do not yet fully practice the great ideal of The
Declaration of Independence that states that all people are created equal, so
too Christian Churches have not yet completed the full practice of the meaning
of love as it known in justice. This is
not said as a condemnation, it is noted as an invitation for us always to be
seeking God grace to surpass ourselves in love and justice. We have to use our imaginations to ask in
faith, “What would Jesus do and how would he respond?” I do not think that Jesus would tell parables
today using slaves as subject matter because of how terrible the very notion of
slavery has come to be known. We embrace
our current understanding of science, psychology and sociology and we ask what would Jesus do today. We may come up with some different
perspectives but in the Episcopal Church we have come to believe that the life-long
commitment of love among our gay and lesbian brothers and sisters should have a
liturgy of blessing/a marriage and loving support, as a true acknowledgment of
their love.
Exercise:
Ponder
your own history with loneliness and the important event of being in love to
want to spend a life with a companion and friend and to bear witness that God
is love. Ponder the meaning of your
marriage within a community. How
important is it to you that your community recognizes your marriage? Do you have the habit of setting up a support
team for your married life? Did you know
that in America when clergy officiate at a wedding they most often do so for
both the State and the Church? Did you
know that some countries separate the civil ceremony and the Church Blessing
ceremony?
Father
Phil